What Does the Bible Say About Abuse in Marriage?

Written By Mary Carter

Mary holds a degree in theology and she has a deep understanding of biblical texts. She works as an elementary school teacher in Alabama.

When it comes to abuse in marriage, the Bible is unequivocally clear: it’s not acceptable. Core to biblical teachings is the respect, love, and care that should define every relationship, especially marriage. The Bible advocates for kindness, compassion, and love – qualities starkly opposite to abuse. God’s view is that marriage is a sacred covenant symbolizing Christ’s relationship with the Church, where abuse has no place.

Intrigued? There’s much more to explore on this subject. Let’s dive into what the Bible really says about abuse in marriage, and how it guides those who find themselves in such difficult situations.

What Does the Bible Say About Abuse in Marriage?

Diving into the Bible’s perspective on abuse in marriage, we find that it strongly condemns any form of violence or mistreatment. While the term ‘abuse’ as we understand it today isn’t directly mentioned in the Bible, its teachings on how spouses should treat each other are clear and relevant.

Firstly, the Bible views marriage as a sacred bond, a covenant that reflects Christ’s love for the Church. This analogy in Ephesians 5:25-33 sets a high bar for how spouses are to treat each other – with love, respect, and selflessness. Abuse, in any form, is the antithesis of this model.

Furthermore, the principles of love and respect are foundational in biblical teachings. The New Testament, especially, is replete with exhortations to love one another as Jesus loved – a love that is patient, kind, and devoid of malice or violence. In this context, abuse is more than just a sin against the spouse; it’s a transgression against the very principles of Christian love.

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Also, the Bible emphasizes the value of each individual. Teachings in the New Testament make it clear that every person is valued and loved by God. Therefore, any act of abuse devalues God’s creation and goes against His command to love and respect one another.

While the Bible does instruct spouses, particularly wives, to submit to their husbands, it’s crucial to understand this within the broader context of mutual submission and love. This submission is never meant to imply that abuse is tolerated or allowed. Instead, it calls for a relationship based on mutual respect and care.

In cases of abuse, the Bible advocates for protection of the vulnerable and seeking help. While it encourages forgiveness and reconciliation, it does not mandate staying in a situation where one is in danger. Protecting oneself and one’s children from harm aligns with biblical principles of stewardship of life and well-being.

Bible Verses About Abuse in Marriage

  1. Ephesians 5:25-33: This passage describes the relationship between Christ and the Church as a model for marriage, emphasizing love, sacrifice, and care. It implicitly condemns any form of abuse, which is completely contrary to the love Christ showed.
  2. Colossians 3:19: Directly instructs husbands not to be harsh with their wives, highlighting that emotional or verbal abuse is not in line with Christian values.
  3. 1 Peter 3:7: Advises husbands to treat their wives with respect and as equals, understanding that they are heirs together of the grace of life. This verse underscores that any form of mistreatment is unacceptable.
  4. Proverbs 31:10-12: Describes a wife of noble character, emphasizing that she should be treated with respect and kindness, which inherently opposes any form of abuse.
  5. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Defines love as patient, kind, and not self-seeking. This description of love is incompatible with abusive behavior.
  6. Malachi 2:16: God says He hates divorce, but also speaks against one who covers his garment with violence. This verse can be interpreted as a condemnation of marital abuse.
  7. Proverbs 22:10: Suggests driving out the mocker, and strife will go out. This can be applied to removing the source of abuse or mockery in a relationship to restore peace.
  8. Galatians 5:22-23: Lists the fruit of the Spirit, which includes love, kindness, and self-control. These qualities are essential in a marriage and stand in direct opposition to abusive behaviors.
  9. Psalm 11:5: States that the Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence, He hates. This strong language against violence can be applied to condemn abuse in marriage.
  10. 2 Timothy 1:7: Reminds us that God gives us a spirit not of fear but of power, love, and self-control, suggesting that one should not live in fear, including in the context of a marriage.
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These verses collectively illustrate that abuse in any form is not condoned in the Bible. Instead, the Bible promotes love, respect, and kindness within marriage. While it may not address modern concepts of abuse directly, the principles laid out are clear in their opposition to any form of mistreatment or violence within the marital relationship. The overarching message is one of love and respect, upholding the sanctity and safety of the marriage covenant.