What Does the Bible Say About Flirting?

Written By Mary Carter

Mary holds a degree in theology and she has a deep understanding of biblical texts. She works as an elementary school teacher in Alabama.

The Bible doesn’t talk about flirting directly, but it does offer guidance on how we should interact with others. It emphasizes respect, purity, and sincerity in relationships. Flirting, if it leads to or implies sinful behavior or thoughts, is discouraged. The idea is to maintain integrity in all our interactions and to treat others with the dignity they deserve as God’s creations. So, in short, flirting is fine as long as it aligns with biblical principles of respect, purity, and genuine care.

Thinking about flirting through a biblical lens? It’s about more than just playful banter. Dive into what the Bible suggests about how we should interact romantically and socially.

What Does the Bible Say About Flirting?

When exploring what the Bible says about flirting, it’s important to consider the broader biblical principles about relationships and interaction between individuals. The Bible might not say “Thou shalt not flirt,” but it provides clear guidance on the attitudes and behaviors that should characterize our interactions with others, especially those of a romantic nature.

In the Old Testament, relationships and interactions were governed by laws and customs that emphasized respect and honor. Proverbs, for example, is full of wisdom about how to interact with others, warning against deceit and promoting integrity.

The New Testament continues this theme, with Jesus and the apostles teaching about love, respect, and purity in relationships. Jesus emphasized the importance of purity of heart and sincerity in all our actions, including how we interact with those we are attracted to. Flirting that is insincere, manipulative, or intended to lead someone into sinful behavior would be clearly against these teachings.

The apostle Paul, in his letters, speaks frequently about relationships. He urges believers to act with decency and to avoid sexual immorality. This can be applied to flirting, suggesting that our interactions should not be about selfish desires or leading others into temptation.

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It’s also important to consider the context and culture of biblical times. What constituted appropriate interaction between individuals, especially men and women, was different from today’s standards. However, the underlying principles of respect, purity, and sincere love are timeless and can guide our behavior in modern contexts.

In God’s view, relationships and interactions should reflect His love and respect for us. This means flirting should be light-hearted, respectful, and not lead to thoughts or behaviors that go against biblical teachings on purity and respect.

Flirting in a way that honors God is about ensuring that our actions and words are in line with Christian values. It’s about treating the other person as a valued child of God, not as an object for our gratification. It’s also about being honest and sincere, not deceptive or manipulative.

In essence, the Bible suggests that flirting, when done with respect, purity, and genuine care, is allowed. It’s about reflecting God’s love in all our interactions, including those that might be playful or romantically inclined.

Bible Verses About Flirting

Since the Bible doesn’t directly address flirting, here are verses that provide guidance on related principles:

  1. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” This famous passage about love can guide how we should flirt – with kindness, respect, and without selfish motives.
  2. Proverbs 31:30: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” This verse warns against relying solely on charm or physical attraction, which can be part of flirting.
  3. 1 Timothy 5:1-2: “Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” Paul’s advice here suggests treating others with respect and purity, relevant to how one might engage in flirting.
  4. Matthew 5:28: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Jesus’s words remind us that our interactions, including flirting, should not be driven by lust or lead to impure thoughts.
  5. Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” This verse encourages us to focus on what is pure and noble, which can guide our intentions when flirting.
  6. 1 Peter 3:3-4: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” This passage teaches the value of inner beauty over external appearances, a principle that can be applied to flirting.
  7. Proverbs 11:22: “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” This Proverb warns against the misuse of beauty and charm, relevant in the context of flirting.
  8. James 1:19-20: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” These verses suggest a demeanor of patience and attentiveness, important in respectful and sincere flirting.
  9. Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” The fruits of the Spirit can guide how we interact with others, including in a flirtatious manner.
  10. 1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” This verse is a reminder to avoid interactions, including flirting, that could lead to or imply sexual immorality.
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While the Bible doesn’t address flirting explicitly, it offers a wealth of wisdom on how we should conduct our relationships and interactions. Flirting, in the biblical sense, is about engaging with others in a way that is respectful, pure, and rooted in genuine care and love. It’s a reminder that our actions, including the playful and romantic ones, should reflect the values we hold as followers of Christ.