What Does the Bible Say About How a Husband Should Treat His Wife?

Written By Mary Carter

Mary holds a degree in theology and she has a deep understanding of biblical texts. She works as an elementary school teacher in Alabama.

For those who prefer the quick scoop, the Bible offers rich guidance on how husbands should treat their wives, emphasizing love, respect, and understanding. It draws a parallel between the love a husband should have for his wife and the love Jesus shows for the church—selfless, sacrificial, and nurturing. The scripture underlines the importance of husbands loving their wives as their own bodies, suggesting that a man who loves his wife loves himself. This spiritual blueprint encourages a relationship built on mutual respect, empathy, and care, aiming to reflect God’s love within the marriage.

Curious about how ancient wisdom can guide modern marriages? Dive into the details of what the Bible really says about the husband-wife dynamic. Discover timeless principles that can transform relationships today.

What Does the Bible Say About How a Husband Should Treat His Wife?

In exploring the depths of marital guidance, the Bible serves as a profound source of wisdom for husbands. It offers not just a series of directives but a vision for marriage that is radical in its love and commitment. Central to this vision is the concept of sacrificial love, epitomized by Jesus’s love for the church. This analogy isn’t casual; it’s a foundational principle that challenges husbands to love their wives with a depth and selflessness that mirrors Christ’s love for humanity.

This divine standard elevates the marital relationship beyond mere companionship to a testament of faith and love. In the New Testament, particularly in Ephesians and Colossians, the apostle Paul outlines the practical aspects of this love. He advises husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. This isn’t just about providing and protecting but encompasses nurturing, cherishing, and honoring one’s wife. Such love acts against sin, fostering a relationship grounded in respect and mutual support.

Furthermore, the Bible speaks against harshness and the abuse of power within marriage. Colossians 3:19, for example, explicitly instructs husbands not to be harsh with their wives, emphasizing the need for tenderness and understanding. The biblical portrayal of a husband’s role is counter-cultural in many ways, challenging societal norms and expectations. It advocates for a partnership where both husband and wife are valued equally under God’s view, with neither being superior.

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This scriptural advice extends beyond the avoidance of negative behaviors, encouraging husbands to actively seek their wives’ happiness and well-being. In doing so, it sets a high bar for husbands, calling them to a lifelong commitment to love, honor, and cherish their wives. This commitment is not contingent upon conditions or circumstances but is a reflection of God’s unconditional love for His people.

In essence, the Bible’s guidance to husbands about treating their wives can be seen as a call to action to reflect God’s love in the most intimate human relationship. By doing so, husbands are not only fulfilling a divine command but are also participating in the sanctification of their marriage, making it a living, breathing example of God’s love on earth.

Bible Verses About How a Husband Should Treat His Wife

  1. Ephesians 5:25-28 – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” This passage is perhaps the most direct biblical instruction for husbands, setting a high standard for love and sacrifice. It emphasizes the spiritual and emotional cleansing that comes from a love that is willing to sacrifice everything for the well-being of one’s spouse.
  2. Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” This short but powerful command underscores the importance of gentleness and understanding in the marital relationship. It serves as a reminder that love is not just about affection but also about how we treat our partners on a daily basis.
  3. 1 Peter 3:7 – “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Here, the Bible acknowledges the physical differences between men and women but elevates women’s status as equal partners in God’s gift of life. The call for consideration and respect is tied to the spiritual health of the husband, linking the treatment of one’s wife with one’s relationship with God.
  4. Ephesians 5:33 – “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This verse summarizes the reciprocal nature of marital obligations, emphasizing love and respect as foundational to a healthy marriage. It reflects the balance of responsibilities and the mutual care that should characterize a Christian marriage.
  5. Genesis 2:24 – “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” This verse from the Old Testament lays the groundwork for the Christian understanding of marriage as a union that transforms two individuals into one entity. It speaks to the deep bond and commitment that marriage represents, a theme that is echoed throughout the Bible.
  6. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Although not exclusively directed at husbands, this passage from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians is a cornerstone for understanding biblical love in marriage. It describes the characteristics of true love that should be present in every husband’s actions towards his wife, emphasizing patience, kindness, humility, and perseverance.
  7. Proverbs 5:18-19 – “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” This verse highlights the joy and satisfaction found in marital love and fidelity. It encourages husbands to always find delight and contentment in their relationship with their wives, fostering a lasting bond that keeps the marriage vibrant and fulfilling.
  8. Malachi 2:15 – “Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.” This verse reminds husbands of the sacred nature of the marital covenant and the importance of faithfulness. It underscores the idea that marriage is not just a human agreement but a divine union established by God for the purpose of raising godly offspring.
  9. Ephesians 4:2-3 – “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” In the context of marriage, this exhortation to humility, gentleness, patience, and peacekeeping speaks volumes about the daily commitment required from husbands. It calls for an ongoing effort to maintain harmony and unity in the relationship, grounded in a love that mirrors the love of Christ.
  10. Song of Solomon 8:6-7 – “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” This poetic passage from Song of Solomon celebrates the power and intensity of love within marriage. It portrays love as an unbreakable bond that surpasses even death, offering an ideal of marital affection and commitment that husbands are called to aspire to.
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Each of these verses, from the wisdom of Proverbs to the passionate love described in Song of Solomon, provides a multifaceted picture of how a husband should treat his wife. The Bible’s guidance encompasses not only the practical day-to-day interactions but also the profound spiritual connection that marriage embodies. Through love, respect, understanding, and faithfulness, husbands are encouraged to build a relationship that reflects God’s love and brings glory to Him.