Dealing with narcissistic parents can be one of the most challenging experiences in life.
They demand attention, control every decision, and rarely show true empathy.
If you have ever wondered what the Bible says about parents who only think about themselves, you’re not alone.
The Bible has a lot to say about selfishness, pride, and how we should respond to difficult family relationships.
Let’s take a deep dive into what Scripture reveals about narcissistic parents and how to handle them in a way that honors God.
The Bible and Narcissism: A Battle of the Heart
Narcissism isn’t a word you’ll find in the Bible, but its traits—selfishness, pride, and a lack of love—are all over the pages of Scripture.
At its core, narcissism is rooted in self-exaltation.
The Bible warns us about this type of pride in Proverbs 16:18:
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
A narcissistic parent puts their own desires above their children’s needs.
They may manipulate, gaslight, or even use guilt to control their kids.
But God warns against people who think too highly of themselves.
Romans 12:3 reminds us:
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment.
Parents are meant to love, nurture, and guide their children in truth.
When pride replaces love, it leads to a broken relationship that leaves children feeling unseen and unheard.
The Role of Parents in the Bible: A Calling, Not a Power Trip
The Bible paints a clear picture of what a good parent looks like.
Ephesians 6:4 gives a direct command to fathers:
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Parents are not meant to rule their children with an iron fist or seek to control every part of their lives.
God calls parents to be shepherds—guiding, protecting, and teaching with love.
A narcissistic parent, however, often does the opposite.
They stir up anger, create emotional wounds, and refuse to acknowledge the needs of their children.
Colossians 3:21 echoes this warning:
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
When a parent’s self-centeredness takes over, their child suffers.
God’s design for parenting is not about power—it’s about love and responsibility.
How Jesus Confronted Pride and Selfishness
Jesus never backed down from calling out prideful behavior.
In fact, some of His strongest words were directed at the Pharisees—religious leaders who loved power and attention.
In Matthew 23:5, Jesus said:
They do all their deeds to be seen by others.
Doesn’t that sound familiar?
Narcissistic parents often care more about how they appear to others than how they treat their children behind closed doors.
They may put on a loving face in public but act controlling and unkind at home.
Jesus warned against this kind of hypocrisy.
He taught that true greatness comes from humility and service, not from demanding attention and control.
In Matthew 23:11-12, He said:
The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
God values a humble heart, not a self-centered one.
Honoring Parents vs. Setting Boundaries
One of the biggest struggles for those with narcissistic parents is understanding the commandment to honor them.
Exodus 20:12 says:
Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
But what does it mean to honor a parent who is manipulative, controlling, or emotionally abusive?
Honoring doesn’t mean allowing toxic behavior to continue.
It doesn’t mean staying silent in the face of emotional harm.
Jesus Himself set boundaries with those who were harmful.
In Matthew 10:34-36, He warned that following Him would sometimes cause division—even within families.
For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother.
That doesn’t mean we should hate our parents, but it does mean that our ultimate loyalty is to God, not to unhealthy family dynamics.
Honoring a parent can look like praying for them, speaking the truth in love, and setting necessary boundaries to protect your well-being.
Setting Boundaries: Even Jesus Walked Away
If you’ve ever felt guilty for stepping back from a narcissistic parent, remember this: Even Jesus walked away from people who wouldn’t change.
In Mark 6:11, Jesus told His disciples:
And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.
That applies to toxic relationships, too.
Setting boundaries isn’t disrespectful—it’s wise.
Proverbs 22:24-25 advises:
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
When a narcissistic parent refuses to change, keeping your distance can be a form of self-protection.
God calls us to love others, but love does not mean allowing someone to mistreat you.
Finding Healing from a Narcissistic Parent
If you’ve grown up with a narcissistic parent, you probably carry wounds that run deep.
But here’s the good news: God sees you, and He cares.
Psalm 34:18 gives this beautiful promise:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
God is not blind to what you’ve been through.
He knows the pain of being rejected, misunderstood, and used by others.
Even Jesus Himself experienced this when He was betrayed and denied by those closest to Him.
Healing starts with surrendering your pain to God.
It involves seeking His truth instead of believing the lies that a narcissistic parent may have planted in your mind.
Romans 8:15 reminds us:
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, Abba Father.
Your earthly parent may have failed you, but your heavenly Father never will.
Choosing Forgiveness Without Enabling
Forgiveness can feel impossible when dealing with a narcissistic parent.
How do you forgive someone who never apologizes?
How do you let go of resentment when they continue their hurtful behavior?
Ephesians 4:31-32 gives us guidance:
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Forgiveness is not saying that what they did was okay.
It is releasing them from the grip they have on your heart so that you can walk in freedom.
But forgiveness does not mean you have to stay in a toxic relationship.
Even Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, yet He didn’t allow Himself to be mistreated over and over.
Final Thoughts
Navigating life with a narcissistic parent is tough, but the Bible provides both wisdom and comfort.
God calls us to honor our parents, but not at the expense of our well-being.
He encourages us to set boundaries, seek healing, and trust Him as our true Father.
If you’ve been hurt by a parent who only thinks of themselves, know this: God sees you, He loves you, and He has a plan for your life beyond their control.
You are not alone, and with His help, you can break free from the cycle of pain and step into a future filled with peace and purpose.