What Does the Bible Say About Being Selfish?

Written By Mary Carter

Mary is a devoted Bible student who loves sharing her knowledge, inspiring others with faith-filled insights, and deepening spiritual understanding through writing.

Selfishness is a problem that has existed since the beginning of time.

It is a natural part of human nature to want things our way, to put ourselves first, and to focus on our own needs before considering others.

But what does the Bible say about being selfish?

Does God view selfishness as a minor flaw, or does He see it as something that can harm our relationship with Him and others?

The Bible has a lot to say about selfishness.

It warns against living for ourselves, encourages selflessness, and teaches us that true joy comes from putting others before ourselves.

Let’s explore what Scripture reveals about selfishness and how we can overcome it.

Selfishness Goes Against God’s Design

God did not create us to live only for ourselves.

From the very beginning, He designed people to live in relationships, to care for one another, and to reflect His love.

Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

This verse shows that selfishness is not just a bad habit—it is the opposite of how God wants us to live.

When we put ourselves above others, we break the very design of love and unity that God intended.

The Dangers of Selfishness

Selfishness can seem harmless at first, but it can quickly lead to greater problems.

Proverbs 18:1 warns, “An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.”

When we focus only on ourselves, we push others away and create conflict.

James 3:16 says, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

Selfishness does not just make life difficult—it can lead to sin, destruction, and broken relationships.

It blinds us to the needs of others and makes us prioritize our desires over what is right.

If left unchecked, it can lead to greed, pride, and even cruelty.

Jesus: The Ultimate Example of Selflessness

Jesus lived the opposite of a selfish life.

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Everything He did was for others, from healing the sick to feeding the hungry and ultimately giving His life for humanity.

Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Jesus had every reason to demand glory, honor, and service, but instead, He chose to serve.

He washed His disciples’ feet, showing that even the Son of God was not too great to humble Himself for others.

John 15:13 reminds us, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

If Jesus, the King of kings, chose to live selflessly, then as His followers, we are called to do the same.

Selfishness in Relationships

Selfishness is one of the biggest destroyers of relationships.

Whether in marriage, friendships, or family, putting yourself first all the time can cause tension and division.

1 Corinthians 13:5 describes love as selfless, saying, “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

True love does not demand its own way.

Instead, it seeks to uplift, support, and care for others.

Romans 12:10 encourages believers to “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Healthy relationships thrive when both people choose selflessness instead of selfishness.

Overcoming Selfishness With a Heart of Generosity

The best way to fight selfishness is through generosity.

Giving of our time, resources, and love forces us to think beyond ourselves.

2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

God does not want us to give because we feel forced—He wants us to give out of joy.

Acts 20:35 reminds us, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

When we learn to give freely, we experience the kind of joy that selfishness could never provide.

The Importance of Serving Others

One of the clearest teachings in the Bible is that God calls His people to serve.

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Galatians 5:13 says, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”

Serving others breaks the cycle of selfishness.

It shifts our focus from “What do I want?” to “How can I help?”

Matthew 23:11 reminds us, “The greatest among you will be your servant.”

True greatness in God’s kingdom is not found in power or wealth, but in a heart willing to serve.

Trusting God Instead of Being Selfish

Selfishness often comes from fear—the fear of not having enough, not getting what we want, or being overlooked.

But God calls us to trust Him instead of clinging to our own desires.

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

When we put God first, He takes care of everything else.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”

God blesses those who choose selflessness, providing for their needs in ways they never expected.

Selfishness and the Love of Money

One of the greatest forms of selfishness is greed, the love of money and possessions.

1 Timothy 6:10 warns, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

Money itself is not evil, but when we prioritize wealth over people, over God, and over generosity, we fall into selfishness.

Hebrews 13:5 reminds us, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'”

When we learn to be content and trust God’s provision, selfishness loses its grip on us.

Selfishness and Pride

Pride and selfishness often go hand in hand.

A selfish person believes they are more important than others, that their needs matter most.

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Proverbs 16:18 warns, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

God calls us to humility instead of pride.

James 4:6 says, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

When we humble ourselves and put others first, we reflect Christ’s character and avoid the trap of selfishness.

Teaching Children to Be Selfless

Selflessness is something that must be taught, especially to children.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

Children naturally lean toward selfishness, wanting their way, their toys, and their preferences.

But when parents teach them to share, to serve, and to think of others, they grow into adults who reflect God’s love.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 encourages parents to teach God’s ways diligently, reminding their children of His commands and calling.

The best way to teach selflessness is by example.

When children see their parents choosing generosity, kindness, and service, they learn to do the same.

Final Thoughts

The Bible makes it clear—selfishness is not part of God’s plan for His people.

It leads to broken relationships, greed, pride, and ultimately separation from God’s purpose.

But God provides a better way.

Through Jesus, we see the perfect example of selflessness, and He calls us to follow in His footsteps.

Choosing generosity, service, and humility allows us to break free from selfishness and experience true joy.

If selfishness has been a struggle, there is hope.

God’s grace is always available, and He is ready to transform hearts that are willing to change.

When we let go of selfishness and embrace selflessness, we find the abundant life that God intended for us.