Everyone knows someone who always has to be in charge.
Maybe it is a boss who micromanages every detail, a friend who insists on making all the plans, or even a family member who needs everything to go their way.
These people, often called “control freaks,” struggle with letting go.
They want things done a certain way—usually their way.
But what does the Bible say about control?
Does God encourage people to take control, or does He call them to surrender?
Understanding what the Bible teaches about control can help us recognize when we are holding on too tightly and learn how to trust God instead.
The Illusion of Control
Many people believe that if they just try hard enough, they can control everything—situations, outcomes, and even other people.
But the truth is, control is often an illusion.
Proverbs 16:9 states, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
This means that no matter how much we plan, God’s will ultimately prevails.
Trying to control every aspect of life leads to frustration because things rarely go exactly as expected.
James 4:13-15 warns against being overly confident in making plans:
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.
What is your life?
You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’”
This passage reminds us that life is unpredictable, and true control belongs to God alone.
Trusting God Instead of Controlling Everything
One of the hardest things for a control freak to do is trust.
Letting go of control feels risky.
What if things fall apart?
What if people do not do things the “right” way?
But the Bible constantly reminds us that trust in God brings peace, while trying to control everything brings anxiety.
Proverbs 3:5-6 offers a powerful solution: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Trusting God does not mean being passive—it means letting go of the need to control things that are not ours to control.
Jesus reassures His followers in Matthew 6:25-27, saying, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.
Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
Trying to control everything often comes from fear.
But fear fades when we trust that God is in control.
The Problem with Controlling Others
Trying to control situations is one thing, but trying to control people is even more dangerous.
Some people use manipulation, guilt, or even force to get others to do what they want.
But the Bible warns against controlling others.
1 Peter 5:2-3 advises church leaders, “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”
God calls leaders to guide, not to control.
Even Jesus, who had all authority, led with love rather than force.
In Matthew 20:25-26, He said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.
Not so with you.
Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.”
Instead of controlling people, the Bible teaches that true leadership comes through serving others.
The Freedom of Letting Go
Holding on to control is exhausting.
Trying to manage every detail of life and dictate how others should behave leads to stress, frustration, and burnout.
But the Bible offers a different way—letting go and trusting God’s plan.
Philippians 4:6-7 provides this encouragement: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
When we surrender control, we gain peace.
Instead of worrying about what might go wrong, we can rest in the assurance that God is in charge.
Isaiah 26:3 promises, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
Letting go of control is not about giving up—it is about trusting that God knows better than we do.
Learning to Submit to God’s Will
Jesus set the perfect example of surrendering to God’s will.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, as He faced the cross, He prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.
Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39).
Jesus had the power to avoid suffering, yet He chose to submit to God’s plan.
His trust in the Father was greater than His desire to control His own circumstances.
James 4:7 reminds believers, “Submit yourselves, then, to God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
When we submit to God, we align ourselves with His purpose, and that frees us from the burden of trying to control everything ourselves.
God does not expect us to handle life alone—He wants us to depend on Him.
How to Let Go of a Controlling Mindset
For someone used to being in control, letting go is not easy.
But the Bible offers practical steps to help shift the focus from control to trust.
Prayer is the first step.
Instead of trying to control outcomes, bring concerns to God in prayer.
1 Peter 5:7 encourages, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
When control feels necessary, remind yourself of God’s faithfulness.
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”
Sometimes, stepping back and remembering that God is in charge can bring the clarity needed to let go.
Finally, practice humility.
Control often comes from pride—the belief that things will only go right if we manage them.
But humility allows us to accept that God’s way is better.
Micah 6:8 reminds believers, “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
Trusting God and walking in humility frees us from the exhausting need to control everything.
Final Thoughts
The Bible is clear—control belongs to God, not to us.
While it is good to be responsible and to work hard, trying to control every detail of life only leads to frustration.
Trusting God brings peace, while controlling others creates division.
Instead of holding on tightly to control, believers are called to surrender to God’s plan, knowing that He is always in control.
Jesus showed the perfect example of trust and surrender, and when we follow His lead, we can experience true peace.
Letting go is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of faith.
The more we release our grip on control, the more we can rest in the hands of the One who holds everything together.