Forgiving someone who isn’t sorry can feel impossible.
When someone hurts you and refuses to acknowledge the pain they caused, it’s natural to feel anger, resentment, or even a desire for justice.
But what does the Bible say about this kind of forgiveness?
Are Christians expected to forgive people who don’t ask for it?
The Bible offers powerful wisdom on this topic, showing that forgiveness is not just for the other person—it’s for us too.
Understanding God’s heart for forgiveness can help believers navigate the difficult challenge of forgiving those who aren’t sorry.
God Commands Forgiveness
The Bible makes it clear that forgiveness is not optional for Christians.
In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
This passage is direct—God expects His people to forgive, regardless of the circumstances.
Forgiveness is not about whether the other person deserves it.
It is about obedience to God and keeping our own hearts free from bitterness.
Even if the other person never says, “I’m sorry,” we are still called to forgive.
Jesus Forgave Those Who Didn’t Apologize
One of the most powerful examples of forgiveness in the Bible is Jesus Himself.
As He hung on the cross, suffering for sins He didn’t commit, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
The Roman soldiers who crucified Him never asked for forgiveness.
The religious leaders who condemned Him did not show remorse.
Yet, Jesus forgave them anyway.
This shows that forgiveness is not dependent on the actions of others.
If Jesus could forgive those who killed Him, believers can forgive those who have wronged them.
Forgiveness Does Not Mean Trust or Reconciliation
Forgiving someone does not mean you have to trust them again.
It also does not mean you must allow them back into your life.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Forgiveness is about releasing anger and bitterness, but it does not require allowing toxic people to continue hurting you.
There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.
Reconciliation requires repentance and change, but forgiveness is a personal decision to let go of resentment.
You can forgive someone while still maintaining healthy boundaries.
Forgiveness Is About Your Heart, Not Theirs
When someone refuses to apologize, it’s easy to think that holding onto anger will somehow punish them.
But the truth is, unforgiveness harms the one holding onto it.
Hebrews 12:15 warns, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
Bitterness is like poison—it doesn’t hurt the person who wronged you as much as it hurts you.
Letting go of unforgiveness allows you to heal.
It frees you from the emotional and spiritual weight that resentment brings.
God Is the Ultimate Judge
Sometimes, we hesitate to forgive because we feel like the other person is “getting away” with their wrongdoing.
But the Bible reminds us that God sees everything, and He is the one who will bring justice.
Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
God is a righteous judge.
No sin goes unnoticed by Him.
Forgiving does not mean that justice won’t be served—it simply means we are leaving justice in God’s hands rather than taking it into our own.
How to Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry
Forgiving someone who doesn’t apologize is difficult, but the Bible provides guidance on how to do it.
First, acknowledge the hurt.
Pretending you are not hurt does not help with healing.
David often cried out to God about his pain, as seen in Psalm 55:12-14: “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it… But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend.”
Being honest about your pain is the first step toward releasing it to God.
Next, pray for strength to forgive.
Forgiveness is not always something we can do on our own—it requires God’s help.
Jesus told His disciples to pray for those who mistreat them (Luke 6:28).
Praying for the person who hurt you softens your heart and allows God to work in both your life and theirs.
Then, release the desire for revenge.
Colossians 3:13 instructs believers to “bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
When you choose to forgive, you are choosing to release the debt they owe you.
You are trusting God to handle the situation instead of carrying it yourself.
Forgiveness Brings Peace
Holding onto resentment creates emotional and spiritual burdens.
Forgiveness, however, brings peace.
Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
When we trust God with our pain and choose forgiveness, we open the door for His peace to enter our hearts.
Instead of living with anger, we can live in freedom.
Forgiveness is not about pretending the hurt never happened.
It is about choosing to move forward instead of staying stuck in the past.
Final Thoughts
Forgiving someone who isn’t sorry is one of the hardest things to do, but it is also one of the most freeing.
The Bible makes it clear that forgiveness is not based on whether the other person deserves it—it is about obeying God and guarding our own hearts.
Jesus forgave those who wronged Him without waiting for an apology.
He calls believers to do the same.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, trusting, or allowing toxic people back into your life.
It means releasing anger, surrendering the situation to God, and allowing His peace to fill your heart.
No matter what someone else does, you always have the power to forgive and walk in freedom.