Marriage is built on trust.
A relationship cannot thrive if honesty is missing.
When two people come together in marriage, they make a commitment to love, respect, and support each other.
But what happens when lies enter the relationship?
Even small lies can create cracks in the foundation of trust.
The Bible speaks clearly about honesty, truthfulness, and the dangers of deceit.
Lying to your spouse may seem like a way to avoid conflict, but in reality, it damages the relationship in ways that can be difficult to repair.
Understanding what the Bible says about lying to your spouse can help you build a marriage rooted in truth and love.
God’s View on Lying
Lying is a serious matter in the Bible.
Proverbs 12:22 says, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”
This verse makes it clear that dishonesty is not just a small mistake—it is something that God strongly disapproves of.
Truthfulness, on the other hand, pleases Him.
Lying is listed as one of the things that God hates in Proverbs 6:16-19.
The passage says, “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”
This shows that God sees lying as destructive.
It is not just about misleading someone—it is about breaking trust, causing harm, and leading people away from what is right.
If God values truth so highly, it is clear that honesty should be a priority in marriage.
The Damage of Lies in a Marriage
Lies, even small ones, can create serious damage in a marriage.
At first, it may seem like hiding the truth protects your spouse’s feelings or keeps the peace.
But over time, lies erode trust.
When trust is broken, it is difficult to rebuild.
Ephesians 4:25 says, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”
If this is true for neighbors, how much more important is it in marriage?
Marriage is the closest human relationship.
If lies enter the relationship, it creates distance.
Your spouse may begin to question everything you say.
Even if the lie is discovered much later, it can still hurt just as deeply.
A marriage filled with lies becomes a marriage filled with doubt and insecurity.
Deception vs. Protecting Feelings
Many people justify lying to their spouse by saying they are protecting their feelings.
They do not want to hurt them, so they hide the truth.
But is this the right approach?
The Bible teaches that truth should always be spoken in love.
Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
This means that honesty should never be harsh, but it should also not be avoided.
If a difficult conversation is needed, it should be approached with kindness, not deceit.
Love and truth should go hand in hand.
When lies replace honesty, even with good intentions, the foundation of the marriage weakens.
A spouse who discovers they have been lied to, even for “a good reason,” may still feel betrayed.
A better approach is to be honest while being considerate of your spouse’s emotions.
The Importance of Trust in Marriage
Trust is one of the most valuable aspects of marriage.
It allows spouses to feel safe with each other, to open up about their fears, dreams, and struggles.
When trust is present, there is a deep sense of security.
But when lies are discovered, that security is replaced with doubt.
Psalm 101:7 says, “No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will stand in my presence.”
This verse highlights the seriousness of lying.
God does not tolerate deception, and neither should a healthy marriage.
When a spouse lies, it sends the message that honesty is not a priority.
It can cause the other spouse to wonder what else is being hidden.
Even if the lie is about something small, it can make the other person question whether bigger lies are also being told.
Rebuilding trust after dishonesty is difficult.
It requires time, consistency, and true repentance.
The best way to maintain trust is to never break it in the first place.
Confession and Forgiveness
What if you have lied to your spouse?
Is there a way to make things right?
The Bible teaches that confession and repentance are necessary for healing.
James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
Confessing a lie is difficult, but it is the first step toward restoring trust.
It is important to take responsibility, apologize sincerely, and commit to honesty moving forward.
At the same time, forgiveness is crucial.
Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
If your spouse has lied to you, it may be painful, but forgiveness is necessary for healing.
Holding onto resentment will only create more division.
That does not mean trust is restored instantly, but it does mean choosing to let go of bitterness.
God calls both spouses to pursue honesty, grace, and reconciliation.
Honesty as a Reflection of God’s Character
God is a God of truth.
Numbers 23:19 says, “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?”
Since marriage is designed to reflect God’s love and faithfulness, honesty is essential.
Lying goes against the nature of God.
John 8:44 says that the devil is “the father of lies.”
When we lie, we are not following God’s example—we are following the enemy’s pattern.
In contrast, Jesus said in John 14:6, “I am the way and the truth and the life.”
If we want our marriages to be strong, we must build them on truth.
Choosing a Life of Honesty
Honesty is a daily choice.
It means telling the truth even when it is uncomfortable.
It means being transparent about mistakes.
It means being open with your spouse rather than hiding things out of fear.
Colossians 3:9-10 reminds believers, “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”
If you want a marriage that reflects God’s love, choose honesty.
It is not always easy, but it is always worth it.
Over time, a relationship built on truth will be much stronger than one built on deception.
Final Thoughts
Lying to your spouse may seem like an easy way to avoid conflict, but it ultimately causes more harm than good.
The Bible is clear that honesty is a vital part of any relationship, especially marriage.
Trust is difficult to rebuild once broken, but confession, repentance, and forgiveness can restore what has been damaged.
God calls us to speak the truth in love, to reflect His character, and to honor our marriage by being honest with our spouse.
When we choose honesty, we create a marriage that is strong, secure, and built on the foundation of truth.