What Does the Bible Say About Not Speaking to Someone?

Written By Mary Carter

Mary holds a degree in theology and she has a deep understanding of biblical texts. She works as an elementary school teacher in Alabama.

In the Bible, communication is key. It’s not just about talking, but also about listening and understanding. When it comes to not speaking to someone, the Bible urges caution. It’s not about giving someone the silent treatment out of spite. Instead, it’s about seeking peace, resolving conflicts, and sometimes, taking a step back to reflect and pray. The message is clear: avoid cutting off communication out of anger or malice.

Curious about how the Bible navigates the tricky waters of communication, especially when it’s about not speaking to someone? You might be surprised. It’s not just “do this” or “don’t do that.” There’s a depth to it, reflecting the complexities of our relationships and emotions.

What Does the Bible Say About Not Speaking to Someone?

The Bible has a lot to say about communication. It’s a guidebook for life, right? When it comes to not speaking to someone, the Bible doesn’t give a one-size-fits-all answer. It’s more about the heart behind the silence.

Let’s start with Jesus. He’s the central figure of the New Testament, and his actions speak volumes. There were times when Jesus chose silence. But his silence was thoughtful, not spiteful. It was a pause for reflection, a moment to connect with God, not a weapon against others.

Then there’s the whole concept of sin and forgiveness. The Bible’s pretty clear about this: if you’ve got an issue with someone, try to sort it out. Don’t let anger fester. In Matthew 18:15, it’s all about going to your brother or sister to resolve conflicts. It’s not about ignoring them; it’s about facing issues head-on, with a spirit of reconciliation.

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God’s view on communication is also key. The Bible shows us that God values honesty and openness. It’s not just about following rules; it’s about nurturing relationships. When communication breaks down, it’s not just a social snub—it can hurt our spiritual growth too.

What about the times when it seems impossible to talk? Sometimes, the Bible acknowledges, it’s better to step back. Like in Proverbs, where it talks about avoiding arguments. It’s not about being passive; it’s about choosing peace over conflict.

In essence, the Bible’s message about not speaking to someone revolves around the reasons behind it and the attitude we carry. Are we seeking peace or nursing a grudge? Are we trying to follow Jesus’ example, or are we letting sin control our actions? The goal, always, is to foster love, understanding, and growth—both in ourselves and in our relationships.

Bible Verses About Not Speaking to Someone

  1. Matthew 18:15-17 – Here, Jesus teaches about dealing with sin in the church. He advises talking to the person one-on-one first. If they don’t listen, take one or two others with you. If they still refuse to listen, then bring it to the church. This approach prioritizes direct communication and resolution.
  2. Proverbs 17:14 – This proverb warns about starting quarrels. It’s like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. It suggests that sometimes, not speaking or arguing is the wisest choice to prevent escalating conflicts.
  3. Ephesians 4:26-27 – Paul tells the Ephesians not to let the sun go down while they are still angry, and not to give the devil a foothold. It implies that unresolved anger, which can lead to not speaking, isn’t beneficial.
  4. James 1:19 – This verse advises believers to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. It highlights the importance of listening over speaking rashly, which can often lead to conflicts and silence between people.
  5. Proverbs 10:19 – In this proverb, it’s stated that sin is not absent when there are many words, but whoever holds their tongue is wise. This suggests that sometimes, not speaking is a wise choice to avoid sin.
  6. Matthew 5:23-24 – Jesus teaches that if you’re offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift and go reconcile first. It emphasizes the importance of resolving conflicts over religious rituals.
  7. Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. This suggests that how we speak can escalate or de-escalate situations, and sometimes, choosing not to speak harshly can prevent further conflict.
  8. Ephesians 4:31-32 – Paul advises getting rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice. Instead, be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other. This implies that not speaking out of malice is key to maintaining Christian love and forgiveness.
  9. Proverbs 18:13 – This verse says that if you answer before listening, it is folly and shame. The wisdom here is about understanding first before responding. It implies that sometimes, not speaking immediately and instead listening can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.
  10. James 3:5-6 – James compares the tongue to a small spark that can set a great forest on fire. He warns about the power of our words to cause destruction. This suggests that careful consideration before speaking, or choosing not to speak in certain situations, can prevent harm.
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In exploring these verses, we see a consistent theme: the Bible doesn’t outright condemn not speaking to someone. Rather, it focuses on the intention and wisdom behind our silence. Are we avoiding conversation out of spite, or are we seeking peace and understanding? The Bible encourages us to choose our words carefully, to listen before we speak, and to prioritize reconciliation and love in our relationships. Ultimately, it’s about aligning our communication with our faith and values, aiming to build rather than break our connections with others.