Words have power.
They can build people up or tear them down.
They can bring peace or start conflicts.
The Bible speaks often about the importance of controlling our tongues because our words reflect what is in our hearts.
If we are not careful, we can cause harm to others and damage our relationship with God.
But when we use our words wisely, we can bring encouragement, healing, and truth into the world.
So what does the Bible say about controlling our tongues?
Let’s explore the wisdom of Scripture and learn how to speak in a way that honors God.
The Tongue Has the Power of Life and Death
The Bible makes it clear that words are not just sounds—they carry great power.
Proverbs 18:21 says,
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
This means that what we say can either bring life—through encouragement, truth, and kindness—or bring destruction—through lies, insults, and gossip.
Words can inspire someone to keep going, or they can crush a person’s spirit.
Once spoken, they cannot be taken back.
That is why God calls His people to be careful with what they say.
The Danger of an Uncontrolled Tongue
The book of James gives one of the strongest warnings about the tongue.
James 3:5-6 says,
“Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.
Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.
It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
James compares the tongue to a fire.
Just as one small flame can burn down an entire forest, one careless word can destroy relationships, reputations, and even lives.
Gossip, lies, and harsh words spread quickly and cause damage that cannot be easily repaired.
That is why God calls us to control our tongues before they bring destruction.
Speaking with Wisdom
The Bible encourages believers to speak with wisdom.
Proverbs 10:19 says,
“Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.”
This verse reminds us that sometimes, the best thing to do is say nothing at all.
Talking too much can lead to trouble, but those who are wise know when to be silent.
Proverbs 17:27 adds,
“The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.”
Wise people do not speak carelessly.
They think before they speak, knowing that their words have consequences.
Guarding the Heart to Control the Tongue
What comes out of our mouths reflects what is in our hearts.
Jesus said in Luke 6:45,
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.
For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
If our hearts are filled with anger, pride, or bitterness, our words will reflect that.
But if our hearts are filled with love, patience, and truth, our words will reflect that as well.
The best way to control our tongues is to let God transform our hearts.
When we seek Him daily and fill our minds with His truth, our words will naturally become more uplifting and wise.
Avoiding Gossip and Slander
The Bible strongly warns against gossip and slander.
Proverbs 16:28 says,
“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”
Gossip destroys trust.
It divides families, friends, and even churches.
Once words of gossip are spoken, they take on a life of their own, spreading far beyond what the speaker intended.
That is why Scripture calls believers to avoid gossip and instead speak words that bring unity.
Ephesians 4:29 instructs,
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
If our words do not help others, we should not speak them.
Choosing Gentle Words Over Harsh Words
Harsh words cause pain, but gentle words bring healing.
Proverbs 15:1 says,
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
This means that the way we speak can either calm a situation or make it worse.
When people are angry, responding with patience and kindness can prevent further conflict.
But when we respond with harsh words, the argument only grows.
Proverbs 12:18 reinforces this idea:
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Reckless words cut deep, but wise words mend wounds.
Speaking with gentleness and patience is a sign of maturity and wisdom.
Speaking Truth, But in Love
The Bible encourages believers to be honest, but honesty must be paired with love.
Ephesians 4:15 says,
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Some people use truth as a weapon, speaking it in a way that hurts rather than helps.
But true wisdom knows how to speak truth with kindness.
Being truthful does not mean being rude.
It means choosing words that help rather than harm.
Even when confronting someone about their mistakes, God calls His people to do it with grace and compassion.
Keeping Our Words Pure
God calls His people to keep their speech pure and free from corrupt talk.
Colossians 3:8 says,
“But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”
This verse reminds us that our words should be clean and uplifting.
Filthy or cruel speech does not honor God.
Instead, He wants our words to reflect His holiness.
Psalm 141:3 is a good prayer for anyone struggling with their words:
“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Asking God for help in controlling our speech can make a huge difference.
The Rewards of a Controlled Tongue
There are great blessings for those who learn to control their tongues.
Proverbs 21:23 says,
“Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.”
This means that being careful with our words can help us avoid trouble.
Many conflicts, broken relationships, and regrets could be avoided if people chose their words wisely.
James 3:2 also says,
“We all stumble in many ways.
Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.”
This shows that controlling the tongue is one of the hardest but most rewarding disciplines.
A person who learns to control their words is strong, wise, and spiritually mature.
Relying on God’s Help
Controlling the tongue is not easy, but with God’s help, it is possible.
Philippians 4:13 says,
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
God gives His people the strength to overcome bad habits, including careless speech.
By praying, reading His Word, and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our hearts, we can learn to speak in a way that honors Him.
Psalm 19:14 is another powerful prayer to remember:
“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
If our words are pleasing to God, they will also be a blessing to those around us.
Final Thoughts
The Bible makes it clear that words have great power.
They can bring life or destruction, encouragement or pain.
Controlling the tongue is one of the greatest challenges, but it is also one of the most important skills in a Christian’s life.
God calls His people to speak with wisdom, love, and patience.
He warns against gossip, harsh words, and reckless speech.
But He also promises that those who guard their words will be blessed.
The good news is that we do not have to do it alone.
With God’s help, we can learn to control our tongues, speak truth with love, and use our words to glorify Him.
Each day is an opportunity to choose words that bring life.
May we always strive to honor God with what we say.