Forgiveness is one of the most powerful themes in the Bible.
It is something God freely gives to those who seek Him, and it is something He commands His people to extend to others.
But what about forgetting?
Does the Bible really teach that we must forget every wrong done to us after we forgive?
The phrase “forgive and forget” is often used in Christian circles, but does it actually align with Scripture?
Understanding what the Bible says about forgiveness and whether forgetting is part of the process can help believers navigate relationships, healing, and spiritual growth.
Let’s explore what God’s Word teaches about forgiving, forgetting, and moving forward in faith.
God’s Call to Forgive
Forgiveness is not optional for believers—it is a command.
Jesus made this clear in Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
This verse shows that forgiveness is essential to a relationship with God.
When we hold onto bitterness, it not only harms our relationships with others, but it also affects our relationship with Him.
Colossians 3:13 reinforces this, saying, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
This verse gives us the model for forgiveness—God’s own mercy toward us.
Just as He does not hold our sins against us, we are called to release others from their wrongs.
Does the Bible Say to Forget?
The Bible speaks about forgiveness often, but it does not explicitly say that people must forget every wrong done to them.
The idea of “forgive and forget” is more of a human phrase than a direct biblical teaching.
However, there are verses that suggest that God “forgets” sins.
Isaiah 43:25 says, “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for My own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”
Hebrews 8:12 echoes this: “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
These verses do not mean that God literally loses memory of sins.
God is all-knowing and does not forget as humans do.
Rather, they mean that He chooses not to hold our sins against us.
When God forgives, He no longer brings up our past mistakes.
He treats us as if they never happened, allowing us to move forward in grace.
This is the model believers are to follow—not necessarily erasing the past from their minds, but choosing to no longer let it define the relationship.
The Difference Between Forgetting and Releasing
While the Bible does not command believers to forget, it does call them to release the past and not dwell on it.
Philippians 3:13-14 says, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Paul is not saying that he has erased his past from his memory.
Rather, he is choosing not to let his past failures define his future.
In the same way, forgiving someone does not mean pretending the hurt never happened.
It means choosing to move forward, not letting bitterness take hold.
This is especially important in relationships where trust has been broken.
For example, if someone has been repeatedly lied to, they may forgive the person, but that does not mean they should immediately trust them again.
Forgiveness and wisdom go hand in hand.
Forgiveness Brings Freedom
Holding onto grudges can be like carrying a heavy weight.
It consumes thoughts, drains energy, and keeps people stuck in the past.
God does not want His children to live in bondage to bitterness.
That is why forgiveness is so freeing.
Ephesians 4:31-32 teaches, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
When people hold onto resentment, they suffer more than the one who hurt them.
But when they choose to forgive, they release the burden.
It does not mean the pain never existed.
It simply means they are no longer allowing it to control their life.
Forgiveness is not about the other person deserving it.
It is about the one who forgives finding peace.
The Power of God’s Forgiveness
Understanding how God forgives helps believers extend forgiveness to others.
Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
God does not hold past sins over people’s heads.
He wipes them away completely, restoring them to right relationship with Him.
First John 1:9 assures, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
God’s forgiveness is not hesitant or partial—it is complete.
He does not remind people of their past mistakes.
Instead, He welcomes them into His love and grace.
This is the example believers should follow.
Forgiving someone means letting go of the need for revenge, choosing love over resentment, and trusting God to heal the wounds.
When Forgiveness Is Difficult
Forgiveness is not always easy.
Some hurts are deep, and the pain does not simply go away overnight.
But God calls His people to forgive, even when it is hard.
Jesus set the ultimate example on the cross.
As He was being crucified, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
If Jesus could forgive those who were killing Him, believers can forgive those who have wronged them.
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation is always possible.
There are times when relationships are too toxic or unsafe to continue.
Forgiveness does not mean staying in harm’s way.
It means releasing bitterness and choosing peace, even if distance is needed.
Romans 12:18 encourages, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Forgiveness is a personal decision.
Even if the other person never apologizes, forgiveness allows the one who was hurt to move forward without carrying the burden of anger.
Steps to Forgiving and Moving Forward
Forgiveness is a process, and it often takes time.
Here are some biblical steps to help in forgiving and releasing past hurts:
Pray for strength—Forgiving is not easy, but with God’s help, it is possible.
Ask Him to soften your heart and give you the ability to release bitterness (Matthew 5:44).
Let go of the desire for revenge—Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.”
Trust that God will handle justice in His own way.
Speak blessings instead of curses—Luke 6:27-28 instructs, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
It may feel unnatural, but choosing kindness releases the power of resentment.
Set healthy boundaries—Forgiveness does not mean being naïve.
If someone has repeatedly hurt you, it is okay to set boundaries to protect your heart (Proverbs 4:23).
Focus on the future—Isaiah 43:18-19 reminds us, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!”
God wants His children to move forward with hope, not remain trapped in past pain.
Final Thoughts
The Bible teaches that forgiveness is essential, but it does not command people to forget in the sense of erasing the past.
Instead, it calls for releasing bitterness, choosing peace, and moving forward with wisdom.
God’s example of forgiveness is not about memory loss—it is about not holding past wrongs against people.
Believers are called to do the same.
Forgiveness brings freedom, healing, and restoration.
It is not always easy, but it is always worth it.
Choosing to forgive, even when it is hard, opens the door for God’s love to work in powerful ways.
Forgive not because the other person deserves it, but because God has forgiven you.
And in doing so, you will experience the peace and joy that only He can provide.