Church is meant to be a place of worship, learning, and community.
For many, it is a refuge—a place to grow closer to God and be surrounded by believers.
But what happens when someone does not want to go?
Is it right to force them?
Does the Bible support making someone attend church against their will?
Parents, spouses, and even well-meaning friends often struggle with this question.
They want their loved ones to grow spiritually, but they may wonder if pressuring them to go to church is the right approach.
The Bible does not directly say, “Thou shalt not force someone to go to church,” but it does offer wisdom about faith, free will, and how God desires people to come to Him.
Let’s explore what Scripture teaches about this topic and how we can encourage others to seek God without pushing them away.
God Desires a Willing Heart
One of the most important themes in the Bible is that God wants people to follow Him willingly, not by force.
In Joshua 24:15, Joshua tells the Israelites, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Notice the key word—choose.
Faith is meant to be a choice, not something forced upon someone.
Jesus never forced anyone to follow Him.
Instead, He invited people to come.
Matthew 11:28 records Jesus’ words, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
He didn’t say, “You must come.”
He extended an invitation, allowing people to decide for themselves.
When faith is genuine, it comes from the heart, not from obligation.
Forcing someone to attend church does not guarantee that they will grow spiritually—it may even cause resentment.
The Role of Parents in Bringing Children to Church
For parents, the question of forcing someone to go to church often revolves around their children.
Should parents require their kids to attend church, even if they don’t want to?
Proverbs 22:6 advises, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
This verse suggests that spiritual training is important, and part of that training includes church attendance.
Children are not always capable of making decisions that are best for them.
Just as parents require their children to go to school, eat healthy, and brush their teeth, they may also require them to attend church because they believe it will benefit them in the long run.
However, forcing a child to go without explaining why church is important can lead to rebellion.
It is crucial to show them the value of worship, community, and learning about God.
Instead of simply saying, “We are going to church because I said so,” a better approach is to explain, “We go to church because we love God, and we want to grow closer to Him.”
Encouraging engagement, rather than just enforcing attendance, helps children develop a true love for God rather than seeing church as a chore.
Should Spouses Force Each Other to Go to Church?
What if a husband or wife refuses to attend church?
Should their spouse force them to go?
The Bible speaks about being spiritually united in marriage, but it also acknowledges that not every marriage will have two believers.
1 Peter 3:1-2 gives advice to wives who have unbelieving husbands: “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”
This passage suggests that forcing a spouse to go to church is not the best approach.
Instead, leading by example—living a life of faith, kindness, and love—can have a greater impact.
Nagging or pressuring a spouse to go to church may create resistance, but demonstrating the joy and peace that comes from following Christ can be a powerful testimony.
Instead of demanding, “You have to go to church,” it may be more effective to say, “I love going to church, and I’d love for you to come with me sometime.”
Praying for them and allowing God to work in their heart is often more effective than trying to force change.
The Danger of Empty Worship
Going to church out of obligation rather than desire can lead to empty worship.
Jesus often spoke against religious actions that were performed without true faith.
In Matthew 15:8, He says, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”
God does not just want people to show up at church—He wants their hearts.
Isaiah 1:13-14 expresses how God feels about meaningless worship: “Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me… I cannot bear your worthless assemblies.”
This shows that simply attending church is not enough if the heart is not in it.
If someone is forced to go but has no desire to seek God, their attendance is meaningless in God’s eyes.
Church is not about checking off a religious duty—it is about growing in faith and worshiping God sincerely.
Encouraging Church Attendance Without Forcing It
So, how can we encourage someone to attend church without making them feel pressured?
One of the best ways is by leading with love.
Romans 2:4 tells us that “God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance.”
This means that kindness, rather than force, is what draws people to God.
Here are some practical ways to encourage church attendance without pressure:
Live by example – When people see the joy, peace, and transformation that faith brings into your life, they may become curious about experiencing it for themselves.
Pray for them – Prayer is powerful.
Instead of arguing, ask God to work in their heart and give them a desire for Him.
Invite, don’t demand – A simple, “I’d love for you to come with me this Sunday,” is more welcoming than, “You need to be at church.”
Make church inviting – Sometimes, people don’t want to go because they feel out of place.
Helping them connect with friendly people or a welcoming community can make a difference.
Be patient – Change takes time.
God works in people’s hearts at different speeds, and forcing the issue may push them further away.
By using patience, love, and prayer, we allow God to move in His timing rather than trying to force someone into faith.
God Looks at the Heart, Not Just Church Attendance
Attending church is important.
Hebrews 10:25 reminds us, “Not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
But simply sitting in a church building does not make someone closer to God.
True faith is about a relationship with Christ, not just a routine.
1 Samuel 16:7 tells us, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at.
People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
This means that God cares more about whether a person truly seeks Him than whether they simply attend church.
It is possible to be in church every Sunday but have no real connection with God.
It is also possible for someone who does not attend church regularly to have a deep, personal relationship with Christ.
Our goal should not be to force people into a building—it should be to encourage them to grow in faith.
Final Thoughts
The Bible does not support forcing someone to go to church.
Instead, it teaches that faith is a personal choice, and God desires willing hearts, not forced attendance.
For parents, requiring young children to go to church is part of guiding them in faith, but as they grow older, they must make their own decision.
For spouses and friends, leading by example, praying, and showing kindness is more effective than forcing or nagging.
Church is valuable, but only if the person attending truly seeks God.
Instead of focusing on church attendance alone, our goal should be to encourage a genuine relationship with Christ.
Faith is about love, transformation, and a sincere desire to know God.
That kind of faith cannot be forced—it must be chosen.