Choosing who to marry is one of the most important decisions a person will ever make.
Marriage is not just about love and romance—it is a lifelong commitment that shapes a person’s future.
Many people wonder if the Bible gives specific guidance on who they should marry.
Does God have a set plan for every person’s spouse, or does He simply provide wisdom and let people choose?
The Bible offers clear principles about what to look for in a spouse and what kind of marriage honors God.
Let’s explore what Scripture teaches about finding the right person to marry.
Marriage Is a Covenant, Not Just a Contract
Marriage is not just a legal agreement or a relationship based on feelings.
It is a covenant—a sacred bond between a husband, a wife, and God.
Malachi 2:14 says,
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
This means that marriage is a commitment made before God, not just a casual decision.
Because marriage is so important, choosing the right spouse should not be taken lightly.
Marry Someone Who Shares Your Faith
One of the clearest teachings in the Bible about marriage is that believers should marry someone who shares their faith.
Second Corinthians 6:14 warns,
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
The image of a “yoke” comes from farming, where two animals are tied together to pull a plow.
If they are not equally matched, they will struggle to move in the same direction.
In the same way, if a believer marries an unbeliever, their spiritual lives will be pulling in opposite directions.
Marriage is challenging enough without the added burden of spiritual division.
Amos 3:3 asks,
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
For a Christian, faith is not just one part of life—it is the foundation of everything.
A marriage where one spouse follows God and the other does not can lead to conflict, frustration, and heartache.
That is why Scripture advises believers to marry someone who shares their faith and commitment to Christ.
Character Matters More Than Charm
Many people focus on outward appearances when choosing a spouse.
While physical attraction is natural, the Bible teaches that character is far more important.
Proverbs 31:30 says,
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Looks fade, but a person’s character lasts a lifetime.
A marriage built on physical attraction alone will not stand the test of time.
Instead, a godly spouse should be someone who is kind, honest, faithful, and wise.
Galatians 5:22-23 describes the fruit of the Spirit:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.
These qualities should be the foundation of a marriage.
A person who walks with God will bring these attributes into the relationship, making for a strong and loving partnership.
Marry Someone Who Respects and Loves You
Mutual love and respect are essential for a healthy marriage.
Ephesians 5:25 gives this instruction to husbands:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
This kind of love is sacrificial and selfless, not based on personal gain.
Likewise, Ephesians 5:22 says,
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
This does not mean that a wife is inferior, but that she should respect and support her husband just as the church submits to Christ.
Both spouses are called to honor and love one another.
If a person is controlling, unkind, or manipulative before marriage, those behaviors will only get worse afterward.
A godly marriage is one where both partners lift each other up, rather than tear each other down.
Avoid Rushing Into Marriage
In a world that often rushes people into relationships, the Bible encourages patience.
Proverbs 19:2 warns,
Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth.
Making a rushed decision about marriage can lead to lifelong regret.
God’s timing is always perfect, and waiting for the right person is better than marrying in haste and facing unnecessary pain.
Lamentations 3:25-26 says,
The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is worth taking time to pray, seek wise counsel, and be sure that marriage is God’s will before making a lifelong commitment.
Seek Wise Counsel Before Marriage
Before making the decision to marry, it is important to seek wisdom from godly people.
Proverbs 11:14 says,
Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.
Talking with parents, pastors, and spiritually mature friends can help bring clarity.
Sometimes, those outside of a relationship can see warning signs that the couple may overlook.
Seeking wisdom does not mean letting others control your decision, but it does mean being open to advice and guidance.
Marry Someone Who Values Commitment
Marriage is not about finding someone who makes you happy in the moment.
It is about finding someone who is committed for a lifetime.
Matthew 19:6 says,
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
A godly spouse should understand the sacredness of marriage and be willing to stand by their commitment, even when times get hard.
Love is not just a feeling—it is a choice to stay faithful through every season of life.
Pray for God’s Guidance
The most important thing a person can do when choosing a spouse is pray.
Philippians 4:6-7 says,
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
God cares about every part of a person’s life, including who they marry.
He will provide wisdom and direction for those who seek Him.
James 1:5 promises,
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
God does not leave His people to make such important decisions alone—He guides those who trust Him.
Final Thoughts
The Bible provides clear principles for choosing a godly spouse.
Believers should marry someone who shares their faith, demonstrates godly character, and values commitment.
Marriage should be based on love, respect, and a shared desire to honor God.
While physical attraction and emotions are important, they should not be the only factors in choosing a life partner.
The most important step is to pray and seek God’s wisdom.
He knows the future, and He will lead those who trust Him toward the right person at the right time.
Marriage is one of the most significant decisions a person can make.
Choosing wisely, with God’s guidance, leads to a marriage that reflects His love and brings joy for a lifetime.