Forgiveness is one of the most powerful and challenging things a person can do.
It is easy to hold onto hurt, resentment, and anger when someone wrongs us.
But the Bible makes it clear that forgiveness is not just an option—it is a command.
God calls his people to forgive just as he has forgiven them.
But why is forgiveness so important?
How does it affect our relationship with God and with others?
And what does the Bible say about how we should forgive?
God’s Command to Forgive
Forgiveness is not just a good idea; it is a direct command from God.
In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
These words show how seriously God takes forgiveness.
It is not just about restoring relationships with other people—it is about maintaining our relationship with God.
When we refuse to forgive, we put a wall between ourselves and God.
He freely offers us grace, but he expects us to extend that same grace to others.
Unforgiveness hardens the heart and keeps us stuck in the past.
But when we forgive, we release ourselves from the burden of bitterness and open our hearts to God’s healing.
Jesus’ Example of Forgiveness
Jesus did not just teach about forgiveness—he demonstrated it.
When he was being crucified, suffering the worst kind of pain and humiliation, he still chose to forgive.
Luke 23:34 records his words on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
These words were not spoken to people who had apologized or asked for forgiveness.
They were directed at the very people who were mocking him, torturing him, and nailing him to the cross.
Jesus showed that forgiveness is not about whether someone deserves it.
It is about reflecting the love and mercy of God.
If Jesus could forgive those who crucified him, then surely we can forgive those who have wronged us in smaller ways.
How Many Times Should We Forgive?
Forgiving someone once might be hard enough.
But what if they keep hurting us?
What if they never change?
Peter asked Jesus this very question in Matthew 18:21-22.
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Jesus was not saying we should keep track and stop at seventy-seven.
He was making the point that forgiveness should have no limit.
If we are truly following God’s example, we must be willing to forgive over and over again, no matter how many times we are wronged.
This does not mean we allow people to hurt us without boundaries.
But it does mean we let go of resentment and leave justice in God’s hands.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
To emphasize the importance of forgiveness, Jesus told a parable in Matthew 18:23-35.
A servant owed his master a huge debt—so large that he could never pay it back.
The master, moved with compassion, forgave the entire debt.
But that same servant went and found someone who owed him a much smaller debt.
Instead of showing mercy, he grabbed the man, demanded repayment, and had him thrown in prison.
When the master heard what had happened, he was furious.
He reversed his forgiveness and had the ungrateful servant punished.
Jesus ended the parable with a warning: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
The message is clear.
God has forgiven us of a debt we could never repay.
How, then, can we refuse to forgive others?
The Healing Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not just a command—it is a gift.
When we choose to forgive, we release ourselves from anger and bitterness.
Holding onto grudges does not punish the other person.
It only keeps us trapped in pain.
Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Forgiving others does not mean forgetting what happened.
It does not mean pretending that the hurt was not real.
It means choosing to let go and allowing God to bring healing.
Forgiveness does not make the other person right, but it makes our hearts right before God.
Forgiving When It Feels Impossible
There are times when forgiveness feels impossible.
Some wounds are so deep that letting go seems beyond our strength.
But that is when we must rely on God’s power.
In Philippians 4:13, Paul says, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
God does not ask us to forgive on our own.
He gives us the strength to do it.
When we feel like we cannot forgive, we must pray for God to change our hearts.
Sometimes forgiveness is a process, not a one-time decision.
It may take time, prayer, and effort, but with God’s help, it is always possible.
Does Forgiveness Mean Reconciliation?
Many people wonder if forgiving someone means they have to restore the relationship.
The Bible encourages reconciliation, but it does not mean we should put ourselves in harm’s way.
Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
This means we should do our part to seek peace, but sometimes the other person is not willing or able to restore the relationship.
Forgiving someone does not mean trusting them again immediately.
Trust must be rebuilt over time.
Forgiveness is given freely, but reconciliation takes effort from both sides.
God wants us to let go of anger, but he also wants us to use wisdom in our relationships.
What If the Other Person Does Not Apologize?
One of the hardest parts of forgiveness is when the other person does not apologize.
It can feel unfair to forgive someone who does not even admit they were wrong.
But the Bible does not say we should wait for an apology before forgiving.
Mark 11:25 says, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Jesus did not wait for people to apologize before forgiving them on the cross.
He forgave even before they knew they needed it.
Forgiveness is a choice we make, not something that depends on someone else’s actions.
If we wait for an apology, we may never find peace.
But when we choose to forgive, we set ourselves free.
God’s Ultimate Forgiveness
The greatest example of forgiveness is found in God himself.
Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
We did nothing to deserve God’s forgiveness.
We were still lost in sin, but he sent Jesus to die for us so that we could be saved.
If God is willing to forgive us completely, how can we refuse to forgive others?
1 John 1:9 reminds us that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
No matter what we have done, God’s grace is bigger.
His mercy is endless.
And when we receive that forgiveness, we should extend it to others.
Final Thoughts
Forgiving others is one of the hardest things we are called to do, but it is also one of the most freeing.
The Bible makes it clear that forgiveness is not optional.
God has forgiven us of a debt we could never repay, and he calls us to do the same for others.
Jesus showed forgiveness even in his deepest suffering, teaching us that love is greater than revenge.
While forgiveness does not mean forgetting or allowing ourselves to be mistreated, it does mean releasing bitterness and trusting God to handle justice.
Whether the other person apologizes or not, whether they change or not, forgiveness is a choice that brings healing to our own hearts.
God’s forgiveness is the foundation of our faith.
And when we live in that forgiveness, we can offer the same grace to others, just as he has offered it to us.