Holding a grudge can feel natural when someone hurts or betrays us.
It is easy to replay the offense in our minds, feel the sting of the pain, and let bitterness settle in our hearts.
But while holding onto anger may seem like a way to protect ourselves, it often does more harm than good.
Grudges create division, steal our peace, and can even affect our relationship with God.
So, what does the Bible say about grudges?
Does God expect us to forgive, even when it is difficult?
The Bible has a lot to say about resentment, bitterness, and the power of letting go.
By looking at Scripture, we can learn how to release grudges and find the freedom that comes from forgiveness.
The Danger of Holding a Grudge
The Bible is clear that holding onto anger and resentment is dangerous.
Leviticus 19:18 says, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”
God does not just suggest that we let go of grudges—He commands it.
When we hold onto bitterness, we allow anger to take root in our hearts, making it harder to love others the way God calls us to.
Proverbs 29:11 warns, “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.”
Letting go of grudges does not mean ignoring hurt or pretending nothing happened.
It means choosing wisdom over anger and trusting God to bring justice.
Grudges do not solve problems; they only create more pain.
When we let them control us, we carry unnecessary burdens that weigh us down.
Unforgiveness Hurts Us More Than Others
Many people think that holding a grudge punishes the person who wronged them.
But in reality, it hurts the one holding onto it even more.
Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
When we hold onto grudges, we allow negative emotions to take over our hearts.
Instead of experiencing peace, we feel bitterness.
Instead of moving forward, we remain stuck in the past.
Resentment can even impact our health, leading to stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion.
Forgiving does not mean the other person was right, but it does free us from the burden of anger.
When we let go, we create space for God’s peace to fill our hearts.
Jesus’ Teachings on Forgiveness
Jesus spoke often about forgiveness, making it clear that it is not optional for His followers.
In Matthew 6:14-15, He says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
This is a serious statement.
Jesus connects our forgiveness of others with God’s forgiveness of us.
If we expect God to forgive our mistakes, we must be willing to extend that same grace to others.
One of the most powerful parables Jesus told about forgiveness is found in Matthew 18:21-35.
Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
He then told a story about a servant who was forgiven a massive debt but refused to forgive a much smaller debt owed to him.
The servant was punished for his lack of mercy, showing that God expects us to forgive others just as He forgives us.
Holding a grudge not only damages relationships—it can also damage our relationship with God.
Letting Go of the Past
One of the biggest reasons people hold onto grudges is that they struggle to let go of the past.
The hurt feels fresh, and the offense seems too big to forgive.
But the Bible reminds us that we are not meant to live in the past.
Isaiah 43:18-19 says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”
When we cling to past hurts, we block the new things God wants to do in our lives.
Letting go does not mean forgetting completely—it means choosing not to let past pain define our future.
Instead of replaying old wounds, we can ask God to heal our hearts and give us the strength to move forward.
Forgiveness is not always instant, but when we take small steps to release bitterness, we open ourselves up to God’s peace.
Trusting God for Justice
Sometimes, people hold grudges because they want justice.
They feel that forgiving means letting the other person “get away with it.”
But the Bible reminds us that justice belongs to God, not us.
Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
When we try to seek revenge or hold onto anger, we are taking God’s job into our own hands.
But God sees everything.
He knows what happened, and He will bring justice in His perfect way and timing.
Letting go of a grudge does not mean the other person was right—it means trusting God to handle the situation.
When we release our need for control, we allow God to work things out according to His plan.
The Power of Love and Mercy
One of the best ways to overcome grudges is to replace resentment with love.
Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”
Choosing love does not mean excusing bad behavior, but it does mean refusing to let hate take over.
1 Corinthians 13:5 reminds us that love “keeps no record of wrongs.”
When we love others the way God loves us, we stop keeping score of past offenses.
Instead of dwelling on what someone did wrong, we can pray for them, seek peace, and extend kindness.
Even if the relationship cannot be fully restored, choosing love over bitterness helps us move forward with a free heart.
Practical Steps to Overcome a Grudge
Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is possible with God’s help.
Here are some biblical steps to help let go of a grudge:
First, pray for the person who hurt you.
Jesus said in Matthew 5:44, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Praying for someone who hurt you softens your heart and helps you see them through God’s eyes.
Second, ask God to heal your heart.
Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
God understands your pain and wants to help you release it.
Third, choose to forgive, even if you don’t feel like it.
Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.
When you choose to forgive, your emotions will eventually catch up.
Finally, focus on the future, not the past.
Philippians 3:13 encourages us, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.”
Letting go of a grudge allows you to walk forward in peace, rather than staying stuck in resentment.
Final Thoughts
Holding a grudge may feel justified, but it ultimately harms us more than the person we are angry with.
The Bible teaches that forgiveness is not just about the other person—it is about freeing our own hearts.
Jesus commands us to let go of resentment, trust God for justice, and choose love over bitterness.
When we release grudges, we step into the peace and freedom that God desires for us.
If you are struggling to let go of a past hurt, ask God for help.
He is ready to heal your heart and lead you into a life of forgiveness, grace, and peace.